The Furious Five and the Pool of Sacred Tears
by KidatHeart5
Summary: This may be my wackiest fanfic of Kung Fu Panda! The summary is that the Pool of Sacred Tears is shrinking and Po and the Furious Five have to find a way to restore it again. So thus, trouble ensues.
1. Chapter 1

(Po comes to the Pool of Sacred Tears, voiceover can be heard in Po's memory)

Shifu's voiceover: Panda, we do not wash our pits in the Pool of Sacred Tears.

Po:(eyes close as he washes pits with dirt, opens eyes to realize that his pits are dirty and overlooks the pool to find that it shrunk 3 inches) (gasping) (runs back to Jade Palace) Guys, guys, come here! Help! The Pool of Sacred Tears is shrinking!

(at the Jade Palace training grounds)

Furious Five: What? I do not understand this.

Crane: Well, we mustn't tell Master Shifu or he'll be upset.

Furious Five: Yeah. Hmm-mmm.

Monkey: Well, there must a source for the pool's evaporating.

Mantis: Hey, how about the sun? (points at sun)

Po: (looks up) Ow! Ow! That hurts!

Crane: Luckily, I have my hat to keep me cool.

Po: (gasps) Crane, your hat! That's it! (grabs Crane's hat)

Crane: Hey!

Po: C'mon, guys! To the Pool of Sacred Tears!

Furious Five: (but Crane) Yeah! (all run to the pool)

Crane: Hey! What about my hat? (groans, flies to pool)


	2. Chapter 2

(once again at the Pool of Sacred Tears, Po holds Crane's hat to shade part of the pool)

Crane: Po! What are you doing?

Po: Can't you see? I'm shading the pool.

Viper: Yeah, but it doesn't cover the entire pool, Po.

Po: It doesn't?

Furious Five: (all shake their heads)

Po: Oh, well. (tosses hat in pool)

Crane: Ah! (grabs hat with beak before it reaches tears) (scowls at Po)

Po: (chuckles nervously)

Crane: (puts on hat) Po, you can't have my hat without my permission. Understand?

Po: (sadly) Yes, Master Crane.

Crane: (smiles and pats Po) Don't worry. You didn't know, okay?

Po: Okay. (sniffles) Thank you. (wipes tear and flings it at pool)

Viper: (gasps, overlooks the pool) Guys, I think we got our answer.

Po: What? Refill the pool?

Viper: Exactly.

Mantis: Great! We'll refill the pool with water!

Viper: But, wait! This is the Pool of Sacred Tears, isn't it?

Monkey, Mantis, Crane, and Po: Yeah.

Viper: So, we'll refill the pool with tears.

Po: But how are we going to do it?

Tigress and Viper: (both grin slyly at the boys)

Monkey, Mantis, Crane, and Po: Oh, no! No! You can't make us! No way! There's no way you're going to make us cry!


	3. Chapter 3

(Po, Crane, Monkey, and Mantis all tied on ground nears pool)

Po: Oh, no, no, no! No!

Crane: Help, girls! This is embarrassing!

Monkey: Help!

Mantis: Uh, Monkey, they're not going to help.

Viper: Now, boys, think of the saddest thing in your life.

Men: No. Absolutely not. You can't make me. That's right.

Viper: Hmm. Oh, Po, what if I would give you a dumpling if you thought of the saddest thing in your life.

Po: (tongue hangs out) Yeah.

Monkey, Mantis, and Crane: No! Don't do it, Po! It's a trick! Don't fall for it!

Po: (whines) But, I want my dumpling! Waah! (cries like a baby)

Viper: Well, I guess that's one way to settle that. Next is Crane.

Crane: Uh-uh, nope. You can't make me.

Viper: Oh, really? What about the time that you thought that we forgot about your anniversary?

Crane: Hey, that was in the past!

Viper: Remember how left out you became and ran away with the Martial Arts Warriors? Remember how shameful that was to Master Shifu?

Crane: (voice breaking) Stop it!

Viper: Remember at the Lee Da Kung Fu Academy twenty years ago that everyone, including the teacher, laughed at your skinny legs?

Crane: May Ling didn't laugh! She thought I could do it! And I'm trying not to cry on this one. (flashback)

Teacher: Crane? (laughing) Yeah. With those skinny legs! (students laugh)

Crane: My skinny legs. First time that's ever been mentioned. (chuckles bitterly)

Teacher: Crane, since you're here, why don't you get started cleaning?

May Ling: I'm so sorry. (flashback ends)

Crane: (tears fill up in eyes) No! No more, Viper. Do you hear? It was all in the past! (cries softly)

Viper: All right, then. Next up is Monkey.

Monkey: Viper, I know what you're thinking and I'm not going to fall for it.

Viper: All right, then. Let Tigress help you. She's really good at painkillers.

Monkey: Painkillers? What do you mean, "painkillers"? (Tigress stomps on his tail) Ow! (soft voice) That hurts! That hurts! (whines)

Viper: Good job, girl! (does high five with Tigress)

Tigress: Next!

Viper: And last, but not least, the one and only, Mantis!

Mantis: Hey, girls, could you get me out of here, please?

Viper: Oh, I don't think so, Mantis.

Tigress: What do you think is the saddest moment in your life?

Mantis: (laughing) Girls, aren't you forgetting? I have no sad moments in my life! (continues laughing) (tears fall out of eyes)

Viper: Well, well, well. Looks like you won, Mantis. There's no way to make you cry. But it looks like you're shedding tears already...through laughing!

Mantis: Oh, no! And I thought I won. (voice breaking) That I can't stand! (crying)

Viper: That's about all of them, Tigress.

Tigress: (whispers to Viper) Yeah, but what about Master Shifu? What do we tell him about the boys?

Viper: Well, maybe we can tell him that they're away on a mission.

Tigress: Excellent. (Viper and her walk to the Jade Palace, leaving the boys behind, weeping)


	4. Chapter 4

(noon at the Pool of Sacred Tears)

Po: Oh, man. It's lunchtime now and I have to cook lunch. And I'm hungry!

Monkey: Po, remember what happened last time? Let's try not to cry again, okay?

Mantis: And especially when I got defeated by the girls. How humiliating!

Crane: Guys, I think I have an idea. (uses talon as knife and cuts away rope)

Mantis: (chuckles) How do you expect to use your talon as a knife, especially when we- (Crane's rope snaps)

Crane: (shakes loose cut rope and stands up) Ah, that's better. Now, for you, Po.

Po: Don't cut me.

Crane: Don't worry, Po. (holds talon in the air)

Po: Oh, no, no, no. Ah! (Crane cuts rope in one sling) (rope falls) Oh! Phew!

Crane: C'mon. We got a few more ropes to undo.

(minutes after at the Jade Palace, Viper and Tigress eat lunch)

Viper: Well, Tigress, this is the life.

Tigress: Yeah. (door opens)

Both: (gasp)

Crane: Hello, girls.

Viper: You!

Tigress: How did you manage to escape? Well, no matter. We're going to take you back.

Crane: Oh, I don't think so.

Monkey: Yah-hah!

Tigress: (hits Monkey) You boys will never take us to the Pool of Sacred Tears!

Po: (looks in hall) (playfully) Here comes Master Shifu now!

Girls: (gasp) Oh, dear. (all sit down)

Crane: Now, Monkey! Mantis!

Monkey and Mantis: (both tie up girls)

Boys: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Viper: It's not funny!

Crane: Now we're going to take you back. (attempts to snap with wings) Oh! Ah! (groans)

Monkey: You could just snap your claws.

Crane: Okay. (snaps claws)

(Po carries both girls in chairs to the Pool of Sacred Tears)

(at Pool of Sacred Tears, Po ties girls to the ground)

Girls: (grunt and groan)

Tigress: You'll never get away with this!

Crane: Oh, we'll see. Monkey's great with "painkillers", isn't he, Viper?

Viper: (gasps) You wouldn't dare!

Crane: Oh, yeah?

Monkey: Hyah! (stomps on Viper's tail)

Viper: (voice breaking) Ow! (crying)

Crane: Now, for Tigress. Guess what we brought you?

Tigress: What, Mr. Mastermind?

(Monkey and Mantis open box to her to reveal a pepper shaker)

Tigress: (gasps) You wouldn't!

Mantis: (grunting) Oh, yeah? (holds up pepper shaker, shakes it on Tigress's face)

Tigress: (coughs) Achoo! (crying)

Mantis: Oh, man! I think I must have pepper in my eyes, too! (covers eyes) Quick! Someone get me to the hospital! (crying)

Monkey: Don't worry, Mantis! We'll get you to the hospital!

Crane: And we'll leave the girls behind!

Boys: (but Mantis laughing)

Mantis: (crying)

Boys: (all rush to the Jade Palace)


	5. Chapter 5

(nighttime at the Pool of Sacred Tears, girls are roped to the ground)

Tigress: (growls, tears rope apart with claw) Those boys aren't getting away from it so easily!

Viper: You tell me. And, uh, could you please get me out?

Tigress: Gladly. (holds claw in air)

Viper: Yipes!

Tigress: (slashes rope to pieces)

Viper: Oh, thank you, Tigress.

Tigress: You can thank me later. But first, there's unfinished business to attend. Let's go.

(at Jade Palace bedroom hall, Tigress and Viper tiptoe)

Viper: Let's do this at separate bedrooms in the first row.

Tigress: (nods head and smiles)

(both girls creep into separate bedrooms, screen focuses on empty hall)

Both: (in bedrooms) Hy-(both kicked out of rooms and land hard on floor)ow.

Viper: Okay. Let's try Crane's bedroom. This time, together. (both creep to Crane's bedroom, silently open door)

Girls: Hy-

Crane: (holds scroll, points at it, points at girls, gives scroll to girls, and closes door without a word)

Girls: Huh?

Tigress: (reading aloud) "Let's finish this at dawn"

Viper: Do we have to?

Monkey: (opens door, nods head, and closes door)

Viper: Okay.


	6. Chapter 6

(dawn, morning bird sings)

Distant yells: Hy-

(at Pool of Sacred Tears, Furious Five, of different sexes, and Po charge at each other) ah!

Furious Five and Po: Take that and that! Ow! You fight like a girl! Oh, yeah? Hey, longlegs, watch out! No, you watch out! Nobody beats a small warrior! Nobody! Oh, yeah? What about a big panda like me?

Master Shifu: (watches from on top of stone formation) (shouts) Silence! (fighting stops)

Furious Five and Po: Oh! Good morning, Master.

Master Shifu: Don't you "master" me! (leaps off stone formation, lands on ground) I saw the whole thing, all right! Viper, explain the boys' trapping!

Viper: All right, Master. I was the mastermind for that trick. I thought I had a good idea. Really!

Master Shifu: (chuckles) Turns out you didn't really had a good idea. (points stick at Crane) Crane, explain to me about the girls' trapping!

Crane: Oh, Master. I was the mastermind for that one. I thought we could get revenge on the girls for trapping us and forcing us to cry our eyes out. I am ashamed of myself, Master.

Master Shifu: Then, you know that revenge is not the best way to get back at girls, isn't it?

Crane: No, Master Shifu.

Master Shifu: Well, particularly, tears can help chase away the drought, but, it is not the sun that caused it to lose some tears. It is your anger, fighting, and your tricking. You need to think about what you have done to one other before this. C'mon, think. What did you do?

Crane: (gasps) (flashback)

Monkey: (bumps into Crane on training grounds) Ow!

Crane: Oh, I am so sorry, Monkey.

Monkey: Watch you're going, longlegs!

Crane: Longlegs?

Monkey: Yeah. Your legs are so long that they can help you reach to the sky! (laughs)

Crane: Oh, why you little banana eater!

Monkey: Why, thank you.

Crane: That's wasn't a compliment. (readies to punch Monkey) (flashback ends)

Tigress: (gasps) (flashback begins)

(in bedroom hall, Tigress accidentally steps on Viper's tail)

Viper: Ow!

Tigress: (gasps) Oh, Viper. I'm so sorry.

Viper: Look what you did to my tail!

Tigress: It was just an accident!

Viper: Some accident! Humph! (flashback ends)

Po: (gasps) (flashback begins)

(in training hall, Po walks toward punchbag)

Mantis: (below Po's feet) Hey!

Po: (gasps) (removes foot to reveal Mantis almost being stepped on) Oh, Master Mantis!

Mantis: Watch where you're going, big guy!

Po: Me?

Mantis: Yeah, you...noodle-making guy. You're so big and fat that you can sit on anyone.

Po: Excuse me? But, I happen to be the Dragon Warrior!

Mantis: (mockingly) Ooh! The Dragon Warrior! I'm so scared.

Po: Well you better be scared, pal, because we're going to fight!

Mantis: Go ahead, Dragon Warrior.

Po: (does kung fu cry) (flashback ends)

Crane: (beak trembles)

Monkey: (mouth trembles)

Crane and Monkey: (hugs one another) I'm so sorry! (crying out loud)

Viper: (smiles)

Tigress: (smiles)

Both: (hug)

Viper: I'm sorry, sister.

Tigress: Me, too.

Po: (sniffles)

Mantis: (sniffles)

Both: (wail)

Po: Could you ever forgive me?

Mantis: Yes!

(Boys continue to cry while Pool of Sacred Tears rise up to normal depth)

Shifu: (to audience) Now that's what I call a way to use your emotions. (chuckles)


	7. Chapter 7

(in Po's bedroom)

Po: Well, I guess we learned our lesson.

Crane: Yep. (sniffs, wipes noses) And after a whole lot of crying that's emotional.

Po: Hmm-mmm. Well, time for breakfast, Crane.

Crane: So, we best be on our way to the breakfast hall, right?

Po: (opens door) Right. (bumps into Monkey) Oof! Oh, I'm so sorry.

Monkey: Well, that's all right. Now, we don't want to start that again, would we?

Po: Right. (all three laugh)

The End 


End file.
